YC, why you so like that?!

There are some tension among my friends.

A talked bad about B behind B's back, B heard it from C, B and C thought A was annoying and unethical, B is now trying to avoid A, A still doesn't know that B knew A was badmouthing B behind B's back, C sides with both A and B......

Well, the conflicts can go on and on. Being a friend to A, B and C, the best I can do is to play blind, deaf and dumb. I am simply too lazy to be involved in the situation.

Come to think of it, I am never involved in any situation. I am always the neutral one. I always berdiri di atas pagar and watch people making fun about each other, complaining about each other, and stabbing each other back. I listen, I laugh along, and then I forget. This is my principle of survival.

I wonder if I was ever the topic of a conversation or a target to make fun of or the nemesis of someone's existence. Most probably there is no fun in talking about me anyway, because I am such a dull character, such a goody two shoes, such a people pleaser.

Honestly,

sometimes, I wish I can be like G cursing people I dislike with the most creative words I can coin (but I simply cannot curse);

sometimes, I wish I can be like W saying NO to people's face when I don't feel like doing something or even throwing things at the wall, not caring if they break or not when I feel angry (but I am simply not used to letting out my temper);

sometimes, I wish I can be like Y drinking myself to numbness, talking nonsense amidst my unconsciousness (or pretense of unconsciousness), flirting with someone or even confessing to someone I have a crush on (but I simply think too much of the consequences to be able to let loose like that).

Yet, despite what other people say about me...

X: YC, you are the most normal one lor. The other all bo ho seh already.

Y: YC, you damn cool la!

Z: YC, why you so good one, always help people do stuffs?



I am actually a COWARD in disguise.